(photo by the lucky files on flickr)
Sitting by the window & enjoying a late afternoon coffee.
There is something about solitude which attracts me greatly, i can let my defenses down, I can put on my favorite music & tackle all the stuff I need to finish.
Perhaps it was the 5 years of having always to smile & make small talk with the people around me that makes me shun social engagements these days.
And especially lately when the blues have hit me hard... from the people around me.
There is this thing about human nature that prevents us from feeling happy for someone when we are feeling down. I suffer from that too. But when all my friends are at stages in their lives where they are not happy professionally or in love or with their families, it really brings me down & makes me feel guilty & I dont want to feel that way.
Oh but you have a perfect life, they say. I don't. I am far away from my family & my country. I deviated from what society expects of me based on education & background, & I paid the price for my decisions. But instead of focusing on the glass being half empty, be happy that at least you still have half a glass.
A phone call from home perks me up instantly, fresh flowers make me smile, sending my purses overseas fill me with happiness, discovering a new restaurant excites me, unexplored cities fuel my wanderlust... in my own ways i try very hard to find something to smile about & to be thankful for everyday.
It's not easy if you are naturally pessimistic like me.. But if you don't want to make this effort... then can you say you deserve to be happy?
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